jeremyjarratt.com

Smith’s Automotive at 400 E. 3rd St. in Dayton, Ohio (next to Wympee’s) is awesome. Daniel the proprietor is such a really nice guy. He even offered me water and gave me a camping chair to sit on while i was outside smoking. Lightning fast. He drove the car with me before and after the repair, and charged me very little. I just can’t say enough about this guy.

If your car needs help, you seriously can not do any better than to have him on your side.

The difference between an amateur and a professional is that the amateur knows exactly what they are doing, while the professional is just making stuff up as they go along.

Think on this.

Peace out.

When i am dead, i wish to be burned to a crisp, and have my dirty ashes scattered by close friends wherever they please.

It is my wish that whatever organs are desperately, vitally needed by someone else in their direst hour be given to them, free of charge, with the condition that such license to use and/or modify shall be taken up by them also, and that no derivative works shall result in profit. After all, i am an open source, Creative Commons person.

My stuff shall be dispersed however my few close friends see fit, with the understanding that of course my dear love Holly should have pretty well everything to start with, shared mainly with anything my dad & uncle  might want (so you better ask them all real nice if you want my Cure CDs). However, Tony D. is not to have anything until he sobers the hell up. There’s no point in giving anything to a man who’s only going to exchange it for crappy booze or some other escapist bullshit. On the other hand, his wonderful daughter Abby is welcome to just about anything she chooses.

I want my unfinished work to be wrapped up somehow. I don’t care how, so long as i become extremely famous and fabulously wealthy after death. Just don’t screw it up like you do everything else. This is Important Shit.

A grave marker will be permitted if anyone wants to bury my ashes, as long as the epitaph is funny as hell. My suggestions:

• “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”
• “Whew! Good thing that’s over.”
• “Oops!”
• “Not here, and not there either.”
• “Thankfully gone, decidedly forgotten.”

If you have something better, go for it.

No serious religion shall stake a claim on any part of my death, including but not limited to any services performed to mark my exit. No rites or stupid ceremonies are to be performed, with the lone exception being that my homies will be permitted to spill some on the curb for me. No spiritual messages are to be given, and no priest of any faith shall officiate. It is to be wholly remembered that i was a devout agnostic, who leaned heavily toward atheism. Anyone caught claiming that i somehow had a soul that lived on after death shall be haunted by my fictitious ghost forever, or until they come to the conclusion that i am not haunting them at all, whichever comes first. I lived through enough horse shit; i don’t need to deal with more of it once i am dead and gone forever. My passing should be viewed as permanent. There is to be no prayer of any kind, except in jest. Silent meditation is permitted, but please: no god shit, and no afterlife crap.

Two religions which are permitted practices and/or short rites are the Church of the SubGenius and the P.O.E.E. (disciples of Eris, goddess of confusion - i think), and they should mock the whole goddamn thing, if they even bother to show up. I also do not mind Buddhism all that much.

No flowers, please. Take your money and donate it to a non-religious charity that does work with AIDS patients or research, breast cancer (again, patients or research), homelessness, runaways, asthma, the environment, civil and/or human rights, putting an end to consumerism, humanitarian efforts, nuclear disarmament, or anything related to promoting atheism or agnosticism or the like.

On the other hand, any services performed to mark my escape from this terrible veil of lies should have a darkly humorous bent, and anyone eulogizing me must include at least one tasteless joke at my expense, or (more preferably) the expense of others. Weirdness should be encouraged at any cost. Attempts should be made at gallows humor. Thou shalt have joy, and laughter, damn it. Death is nothing serious. Be wholly glad i am gone!

I’m working on a project for a friend right now involving Wordpress, which has got me excited enough to go ahead and overhaul this site once again.

So i will FINALLY be upgrading my WP installation and fixing my ACTUAL theme once and for all! I hope to have this completed by the end of the summer.

I promise to make it a whole lot cleaner, too, in layout if not in language.

That is all.

OMFG why didn’t anyone tell me about this!? Westboro Baptist Church apparently has its very own movies site! It’s hilarious and sad at the exact same time. The music videos are priceless! Why on earth do people like Rev. Dr. King and the Kennedys get shot while Fred Phelps is still walking???

To my mind, there is nothing better than the idea that THIS is all there is, that there is no afterlife and no ultra-benevolent (yet strangely, fiercely jealous) Super-Grampa waiting to scoop us up in His arms when we die; that WE are responsible for what we do with our lives and how we shape our future as a species and individually. The idea that this is our one chance to get things right just makes life that much more important and special and precious. To me, life is sacred and holy enough without superstition or outdated ideas regarding how things work.

I also don’t see any problems with the idea that we are a wonderful accident of nature (which includes, but is not limited to, life). There is tremendous beauty in chaos.

And here’s a philosophical question hardly anyone ever bothers to ask:

We think of time as a line on a graph representing the space-time continuum. We know that we can move in any direction in space. There is, theoretically, nothing really stopping us from moving in any direction in time, either, if time is a fourth dimension (as has been repeatedly suggested by theoretical physicists and philosophers alike). So… we if move “backward,” aren’t we then uncreated? Does the flow of time alter god? Does god become cruel and sadistic depending on which direction s/he/it is facing? And does that, by definition, blast into smithereens a whole lot of god’s “omnipotence”?

p.s., i used to be a hands-waving-in-the-air-for-some-reason zealous Christian as a teenager. I even destroyed my Duran Duran records over it, strangely assuming that Jesus was so egotistical that he only ever wanted to have songs all about himself. Thank [     ] i’m reformed now.

Comedian George Carlin dies in Los Angeles at 71

“These worst male-bashing ads will get you riled up…”

Not me, man. Men really ARE idiots. And some of these ads are funny as hell.

Ok, i pretty much only associate myself with people who meet my admittedly high standards. So, present company definitely excluded, dudes. But other than my close friends (ok, even some of my close friends) and my online guy pals, most of the males i have known have been boorish dicks, mindless oafs, and knuckle-dragging morons. I’m talking about the “beer+fuhbaw+chicka-wings” crowd of Maxim-reading gargantuan-pickup-driving dolts. You know them. I know them. They’re imbeciles, and they’re inevitably the ones who spring to mind when Europeans think of Americans. I’ll say it right now, out loud, in a very public place: i hate those retarded jackasses. They can all go straight to shit.

Exploring The Creation Museum - America’s New Mecca of Fanatical Ignorance
Excellent article on religious super-fundamentalism!

Former U.S. soldier droppin’ some Truth about this bullshit war in Iraq. Do your self and your conscience and your country and your fellow human beings a favor by watching this and then doing something about it.