This weekend. (R.I.P. Mark Hild)
The funeral for our old buddy Mark Hild was today. The viewing was yesterday. Attended both. Got no sleep. Saw Grandfather. He looks like he weighs all of 75lbs and is sweating like a pig in that inferno of a house. Extremely depressed over both situations.
Yesterday, Mark’s wonderful mother Alice remembered me (my god, the woman is superhuman after all!), and said that Mark had been on a breathing tube for a few years, and that he’d pretty much lost control of everything but his brain and mouth. She said that he was ready, that he was done with being sick. She looked remarkably at peace, and i am incredibly glad. What a sweet, yet strong, woman. Today i thanked her for being such a good mother for our friend.
Friday, i cried. Then, i was numb. Today, i’m crying again. Mark had a helluva Will. He Intended to keep on keepin’ on, until there was nothing left to keep. And he damn sure did just that. He did exactly that. Kid was a fighter, a tough MF.
Just a few short years ago, i honestly thought that he could beat that Muscular Dystrophy shit straight to hell. I really thought that he was Neo or something.
I noticed that the word “shame” was bandied about in regards to MD (unless i was hearing wrong, which may well be the case… i hope). I’ve never had it, so i have no right to any opinion on that, but i’ll give it anyway: Where is shame? Show me shame! All i see in people with MD is passion, sweetness, love, and some serious freakin’ people skills. I guess if i had it, i’d feel pretty self-conscious, and maybe even shame. But as a free-standing man who takes his health for granted, i can tell you that i have never once associated that foul word with Muscular Dystrophy, or any other disease. The very idea makes me think of those sick freaks who get all offended by the site of someone with a different physiology than their own. And to them [i say]? “Fuck you.” Seriously. “Fuck you.” Who cares what idiots like that think, who barely even deserve to walk freely at all?
I called out from work today again. I’ll go back tomorrow. Today is just a little… heavy for me.
These are just words, really. I’m just pouring them out of me with my tears. Sorry if i offend. I’m emotional. Go read Dale Huffman’s great story about Mark instead.
Posted on Tuesday, 6th June, 2006 at 4:38 pm and filed under these topics: friends
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June 7th, 2006 at 10:53 am ::
I think by “shame” they meant “it’s unfortunate that this fockin disease effected such a great guy” NOT “shame on you for having it”
Glad to hear that Alice looked “at peace.” I was a volunteer at Muscular Dystrophy summer camp for three summers (on week each) back when we were in high school. I can remember how it effected me to have someone who needed me at all times for their very basic needs, like helping them use the toilet. Now stop and realize that Alice was Mark’s helper for all these years. While the rest of us were out living our adult lives, Alice helped Mark live his. To call her a superhuman is an understatement.
Speaking of MD summer camp, I got to know a number of “Jerry’s Kids†fairly well. Years have gone by and I don’t know the ‘status’ of any of them. Statistically speaking, it’s likely they have all passed. It should be noted that all these guys were friends of Mark: Tim Henry, Johnny Exlax, Brain Walls, Scotty Angel, Johnny Sinclair, on the list goes. I’m sure all of them have circles of friends of their own.
June 7th, 2006 at 11:19 am ::
Re: “shame”- The word was used in the context of, e.g., being released from the shame of the disease. I know it wasn’t meant in any weird way or anything, it’s just shocking to hear a word like shame being used in reference to some disease; and not, say, getting caught by a cop fucking another man’s wife in the back seat of her Suburban, and realizing that the cop is an old friend of your own wife. Then seeing it in the paper the next morning. That is common shame. I’m sure the wheelchair-bound are accustomed to another form. I’m sure there are many embarrassing moments in public, and all because some people just don’t understand, and a small minority of the walking public are probably real dickheads about it. Anyway, perhaps a better word for that kind is in order?
No doubt that many have left their wheelchairs for good. That’s a lot of friendly faces. It’s hard to think about all the people who’ve come and gone, and potentially have gone forever. Props for volunteering for anything humanitarian, and double props for working with MD kids. I remember when you did that, and i always had bonus points chalked up for your ass for it. I’m too antisocial and self-involved to do anything like that.
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June 7th, 2006 at 11:55 am ::
here’s the man himself at the then year reunion…
The girl is a friend of his who was his date for the evening named Amy.
That dude sitting on Mark’s left is Tim Daly
June 7th, 2006 at 1:13 pm ::
Very cool! Thanks!